"I shall pass this way but once.
Therefore any good that I can do, or any kindness that I can show, let me do it
now for I shall not pass this way again." — William Penn
I have a good friend of mine who is an
acclaimed American author and an international speaker. We have friendship for
the last five years and we value our relations profoundly. He endorsed some of my authored books and
wrote foreword for a book. We regularly exchange our knowledge over
e-mails. In one of his e-mails, he
mentioned that in America, relations are valued on reciprocal response. His
viewpoint was thought provoking and I decided to explore it to enlighten my
readers.
There are various kinds of people in
this world. Most of them expect from others without contributing anything.
Worse, there are some who demand too much from others as if they had a right to
ask for it. Such people are known as selfish people. Some of them even go to
the extent of exploiting the relations for their short-term ends. They are also
known as takers. You must safeguard from such selfish people in this world.
Once they avail the opportunities they say ‘good bye’ to you forever. Such
people often fool the people around and cannot grow in their lives as they cannot
succeed all the time to fool others.
Abraham Lincoln rightly remarked, “You can fool all the people some of
the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the
people all the time.” Hence, these people will be checkmated over a period of
time and end up with stagnation.
Takers are fakers. They fake others.
They wear multiple masks to get their things done. You can easily identify
takers as they approach you whenever they need your help. Once the work is over
they don’t show their faces. They approach you again when they need your help.
To bridge the gap in relations, they tell lots of lies to cover up.
Unfortunately, they end up in a fiasco. At times they come to you with an
impression to help you with a hidden agenda to take big favors from you. Hence,
be careful with takers in your life.
In the second category, you will find
people who seek help from others and also reciprocate when the time comes. They
often think ‘what is in it for me?’ They are known as matchers. This category
is somewhat better than the first category. Some of the people in this category
will also have the ‘attitude of gratitude’ which is a healthy sign. They will
regret if they are unable to help others who helped them in the past. This
second category is better than the first category of takers.
In the third category, you will find
people in a limited number who always think of helping others. They are
altruistic people and help others without any expectations. They are known as
givers. Most times they are exploited by first category of people. In spite of
being exploited by others, they still want to extend their hands to make a
difference in the lives of others. They live like legends and remain like
legends beyond their lifetime. If you look at leaders like Mahatma Gandhi,
Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr, and Nelson Mandela to name a few, they
were givers who lived like legends.
When you diagram them into a pyramid,
first category falls at the bottom, the second category in the middle and the
third category on the top of the pyramid which is few in number. Most problems come to the people who are
takers as they often exploit others. At times, they also demoralize the givers
who want to help the genuine and the deserving people. Conflicts also tend to
arise among the second category of the people who expect reciprocal response
from their relationships. If they believe in the slogan of what goes around comes around the conflicts can be averted in this
world.
Givers are transparent and clear. They
are generous by heart and noble by nature. At times givers are exploited by
takers. They may also lose their interest to help and serve others. Since
generosity is the hallmark of their nature and servanthood is their behavior,
they keep giving to others. That is the reason why most of the givers excel as
legends over a period of time. And that is the reason why the world is moving
in the right direction under the leadership of givers.
Selfish people add value for
themselves, not for others. Altruistic people add value to others, not for
themselves. Selfish people keep profit before purpose while altruistic people
keep purpose before the profit. Selfish people are losers while altruistic
people are winners. Hence, differentiate between selfish and altruistic people.
Stay away from selfish people and invite altruistic people to create positive
vibes to build a better world.
Why I need to share these aspects with
you is that you will be able to manage your time by focusing on the people who
are really good with whom you take pride in crossing your path in your life.
You also get great satisfaction by helping the deserving people who have the
‘attitude of gratitude’. Above all, you will be able to invest your precious
time in the right people to create a utopian world.
“Love and kindness are never wasted.
They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they
bless you, the giver.” — Barbara de Angelis
“Things You Don’t Know
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