Professor M. S. Rao’s Vision 2030: One Million Global Leaders

© 2015 MSR Leadership Consultants India. All Rights Reserved. This is a nonprofit blog to share Professor M.S.Rao’s passion and vision to build one million students as global leaders by 2030. The use of this material is free provided copyright is acknowledged and reference or link is made to the Blog http://professormsraovision2030.blogspot.in. This material may not be sold, or published in any form, or used in the provision of business services to a third party without permission.

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Tuesday, 9 July 2024

How to Make Someone Feel Important—Professor M.S. Rao, Ph.D.—The Father of “Soft Leadership” & International Leadership Guru

“The longer I live and the more experience I have of the world, the more I am convinced that, after all, the one thing that is most worth living for—and dying for, if need be—is the opportunity of making someone else happier and more useful.” —Booker T. Washington, Up from Slavery: An Autobiography

When we want to make others feel important, we shift the focus from ourselves to them. This means truly listening to their thoughts and feelings, acknowledging their contributions, and offering genuine compliments. We can also show we value them by remembering details about their lives and interests, offering help when needed, and simply being present and engaged in conversations. These acts of consideration show them they are seen, heard, and appreciated for who they are.

People often look to elevate themselves rather than others by focusing on their strengths and merits. It is unfortunate to note. People have become so busy that they don’t find time to care for others. The world has become ruthless with cutthroat competition. It is a rat race where no one cares about others. That is the current scenario globally.

God blessed us with life. If everyone thinks of contributing something to others by whatever means most of the problems will be resolved and people feel better, bigger and greater. However, very few people have the time to think along those lines as they don’t find to think through. They are used to routine activities as the way most people don’t breathe even properly due to high stress levels. Where will the world go? Who will save the world and the people? It is time to think through and do something for others to make a difference.

Make a habit of spending some time daily to listen to people and empathize with them. It comforts them. If possible, observe people around you, say a few good things, and motivate them. Who knows? The man whom you motivate might be on the brink of disaster.

The Power of Connection

When you want to make someone feel important, it is essential to show genuine interest in their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Take the time to actively listen to them and validate their perspectives. Use their name to personalize your interactions and make them feel seen and valued. Additionally, make an effort to remember important details about their life and show sincere care and concern for their well-being.

By acknowledging and appreciating their contributions, accomplishments, and unique qualities, you can make them feel important and truly special. Remember, the key is to be authentic and sincere in your interactions, as people can often sense when someone is being insincere or trying to manipulate them.

1. Practice Active Listening

Effective communication is essential in any relationship, and listening is a significant part of it. When someone speaks to you, give them your full attention. Maintain consistent eye contact and respond with non-verbal cues to show that you’re genuinely present and engaged. Ask follow-up questions and reflect back on what they have said. This way, you show that you’re listening and that what they have to say is interesting and meaningful to you.

2. Make Time for One-on-One Interactions

Making time for one-on-one interactions can be incredibly impactful. By dedicating individualized attention to someone, you are showing that they are a priority to you. This could involve scheduling a coffee date, going for a walk together, or just having a private conversation where you can focus solely on that person. During these one-on-one interactions, make sure to actively listen, engage in meaningful conversation, and show genuine interest in what they have to say. This focused time together allows for deeper connections to be formed, making the individual feel valued, respected, and important in your eyes.

3. Show Appreciation and Gratitude

When someone contributes to your life in some way, it’s essential to acknowledge their efforts. It’s human nature to want to be recognized for our achievements, no matter how small. Expressing sincere appreciation and gratitude reinforces that the other person is important and that their efforts have not gone unnoticed.

4. Be Respectful and Considerate

Respect and consideration go hand in hand when it comes to making someone feel important. Respecting other people’s boundaries and treating them kindly and compassionately shows that you value them. Pay attention to their body language and take note of any discomfort. Being considerate of others’ feelings is essential to avoid causing unnecessary harm or stress.

5. Offer Support and Encouragement

We all go through difficult times in our lives, and it’s in these moments that we need someone to lean on. Offering emotional support and reassurance shows that you care and that the other person is not alone. In addition, providing words of encouragement and inspiration can be a significant motivator for someone to keep striving towards their goals. This kind of support works as a morale booster and helps them feel important and included.

6. Celebrate Their Successes

Acknowledging someone’s accomplishments is vital to boosting their self-esteem and making them feel important. When someone achieves something that they’ve worked hard for, it’s essential to celebrate it with them—recognize their effort publicly or privately. Celebrating their successes not only makes them feel important but also creates a positive and healthy environment that can be beneficial to everyone involved.

7. Random Acts of Kindness

Small acts of kindness can make a significant impact on someone’s day. Random acts of kindness demonstrate that you’re thinking of the other person and want them to feel good. Simple gestures, such as a thoughtful note, an unexpected gift, or a compliment, can make them feel noticed and appreciated.

8. Inspire Confidence and Believe in Them

When you believe in someone, it gives them the confidence to try new things or achieve their goals. Instilling confidence in others is essential because it shows that you care about their potential. Encourage them to take risks, try new experiences, and believe in themselves. This kind of support can be life-changing for someone who might have been doubting themselves.

9. Practice Empathy

Empathy involves putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. It requires you to set aside your own perspective and understand the other person’s point of view. Empathy is vital in creating a connection because it shows that you care about the other person’s thoughts and feelings. When someone feels like they are being heard and seen, they feel important.

10. Send Thoughtful Notes and Small Gifts

Sending thoughtful notes and small gifts can be a meaningful gesture. Taking the time to write a heartfelt message or select a small token of appreciation shows that you value and care about them. It doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive; it’s the thought and effort behind the gesture that count. Whether it’s a handwritten note expressing gratitude or encouragement or a small gift that reflects their interests or preferences, it is a personal touch that can make someone feel special and important. The act of giving something tangible can leave a lasting impression and serve as a reminder of its worth in your eyes.

11. Remember Important Dates and Details

You’re absolutely right! Remembering important notes and dates is a fantastic way to make someone feel important. It shows that you pay attention and that their lives and experiences matter to you. Here are some specific ways you can use this to your advantage:

Birthdays and anniversaries: This is a classic, but for good reason. Remembering someone’s birthday or a special anniversary shows you care and makes them feel valued. A thoughtful card or a small gift can go a long way.

Accomplishments and milestones: Did your friend get a promotion? Did your partner achieve a personal goal? Celebrate their achievements! Acknowledge their hard work and be genuinely happy for them.

Interests and hobbies: Pay attention to what the person is passionate about. Maybe your colleague mentioned they love a particular band, and there’s a concert coming up. Surprise them by getting tickets! These small gestures show you listen and care about their interests.

Past conversations: Referencing something they mentioned before shows you were truly listening. “Hey, I remembered you were interested in trying that new Italian place; how about we go this weekend?” This personal touch builds connections and strengthens the relationship.

Remembering these details personalizes your interactions and demonstrates that you value the person and the relationship.

12. Ask for Their Opinion and Input

That’s a great approach! People feel valued when their thoughts and ideas are considered important. Here are a couple ways you can phrase this to make someone feel like their opinion truly matters:

“What do you think about this?” – This is a straightforward way to show you’re interested in their perspective.

“I’m working on X, and I value your expertise. Do you have any suggestions?” This personalizes it and flatters their knowledge on the topic.

“Can you walk me through your thought process on this?” This shows deep interest in not just their answer but also how they came to it.

By asking for their opinion and input, you not only make them feel valued but also gain valuable insights you might not have considered on your own.

13. Show Appreciation for Their Uniqueness

Here are some ways to show appreciation for someone’s uniqueness:

Be specific: Instead of a generic “you’re unique,” point out something you truly admire about their individuality. “I love how you always wear such vibrant colors; it reflects your personality so well,” or “The way you combine your passion for music with your coding skills is something I’ve never seen before; it’s truly unique!”

Actively listen: When they share their interests or hobbies, even if they seem unusual, give them your full attention. Ask questions and show genuine curiosity about what makes them tick.

Celebrate their differences: Does your friend have an eccentric laugh or a quirky fashion sense? Let them know you appreciate it! “Your laugh is so infectious.

It always brightens my day,” or “You always rock those bold patterns; it takes confidence to pull that off, and you do it perfectly!”

Support their individuality. If they’re pursuing an uncommon dream or interest, be their cheerleader. Offer encouragement and help them find resources if possible.

Embrace their quirks. Everyone has them, and those quirks are often what make them special! Instead of trying to change them, accept and appreciate their unique way of being.

Gift experiences: Look for experiences that cater to their specific interests, such as a class related to their unique hobby or tickets to a performance by their favorite niche artist.

By taking the time to show you appreciate their individuality, you’ll strengthen your bond and create a space where they feel comfortable being their true selves.

In conclusion, practicing these habits is how to make someone feel important so that they can have a better connection with you and the world around them. By giving them your undivided attention when you listen, treating them with respect and kindness, acknowledging their accomplishments, and offering your support, you create a positive impact that can last a lifetime. Remember, a little effort goes a long way, and these habits can become your go-to default for building stronger, healthier relationships.

Little Things You Can Do to Make Someone Feel Important: An Inspirational Story

There was a young woman who was walking in the street. A man who was passing by saw the woman, stopped her shook her hand, and said, “Hi young woman! Where are you going? You look so beautiful! Have a great day!”.The woman was shocked at the stranger who shook her hand with warmth and greeted her with a great smile saying that she was looking great.

She was coming back from the medical store with a small bottle in her hand, wrapped in a cover. She was in great depression as her boyfriend cheated on her and married another woman. She felt let down and depressed. She lost all her confidence and felt inferior because she was not looking, which probably led her boyfriend to dump her and search for some other woman.

During the great depression, she went to a medical store to buy poison to end her life. When she was going back after buying a small bottle of poison, the stranger shook her hand, praised her beauty, and wished her a great day. Then she went to her home and looked in the mirror whether she was looking beautiful. She looked at the mirror several times and began smiling by thinking, “Yes, I am beautiful! What the stranger said was right.

My deserted boyfriend is not lucky enough to enjoy my beauty, and she gradually developed confidence.” Finally, she threw away the bottle containing poison, and she went on to build a great career with a good man and become an international celebrity.

This story reveals the importance of making others feel important thus saving them from the brink of committing suicide. We don’t know how much difference we make by praising and elevating others.

It is essential to appreciate and elevate others. Learn to look at the similarities rather than the differences. Learn to look at your strengths rather than your weaknesses, because what goes around will come back to you.

Here are a few nuggets to make others feel more important.

Listen to the other person with the right body language. Step into the shoes and empathize. Nod in agreement appropriately. If the other person is in distress don’t disturb and allow him/her to ventilate problems. Then present your solutions.
When a person achieves something praise liberally. But be specific and objective to avoid sounding like a flattery.
Identify the key strengths of people and praise them whenever and wherever possible.
Adopt the mirroring technique, where you need to convert your body language as per the other person, as it helps in connecting with the other person, making him/her feel comfortable, and creating a common ground.
Remember the fact that people have different needs, egos, emotions, and feelings. You cannot adopt a fixed approach or style to touch them. You need to identify each person’s situation and issue to touch and strike an emotional chord with them.
Above all, always handhold others.
Remember, it takes several years to build relations but takes a few seconds to break it. Hence, present a positive attitude and praise and make others feel more important to touch and connect with them emotionally and successfully.

Final Thought

People might pose a question such as, “At a time when people don’t find time for themselves, how can they find time for their family, friends, and society?” Yes! It is true. As we have responsibility towards our children, we have equal responsibility towards future generations for passing on society’s values and virtues. Hence, it is time for us to find time to think, act, and make a difference for others to take this human civilization to greater heights of glory, not in terms of material but in terms of ideals and ideas.

Reference

https://www.amazon.com/Soft-Leadership-Innovative-Negotiation-Prosperity/dp/1628655909

Share if you care!

“Things You Don’t Know about Professor M. S. Rao” http://professormsraovision2030.blogspot.com/2015/10/things-you-dont-know-about-professor-m.html

Read my ‘Vision 2030 One Million Global Leaders’ URL: http://professormsraovision2030.blogspot.com/2014/12/professor-m-s-raos-vision-2030-one_31.html

Note: I had COVID. I had a brain hemorrhage. I was in bed for five months. My right hand is paralyzed. I am recovering. Thanks for understanding and empathy. https://youtu.be/BFJrSRLHPUk

Life is great!

Professor M.S. Rao, Ph.D.

Founder of MSR Leadership Consultants, India

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/M.-S.-Rao/e/B00MB63BKM

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Thanks for reading!

Kindly share your thoughts and comments below, I’m sure someone out there will find your story useful.

This is a nonprofit blog to share Professor M.S. Rao’s passion and vision to build one million students as global leaders by 2030. Please don't cut articles from my blog and redistribute by email or post to the web. The use of this material is free provided the copyright is acknowledged and reference or link is made to the Blog http://professormsraovision2030.blogspot.com. This material may not be sold, or published in any form, or used in the provision of business services to a third party without permission.

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Monday, 8 July 2024

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Sunday, 7 July 2024

How Coaching Can Develop Your Leadership Skills—Professor M.S. Rao, Ph.D.—The Father of “Soft Leadership” & International Leadership Guru

Coaching involves the transfer of knowledge, skills, and abilities from coach to coachee. It is an ongoing professional relationship between coach and coachees. It discovers the hidden talents of the coachees and develops certain competencies and capabilities and skills and abilities through continuous interaction, questioning, and feedback. Finally, it aligns these skills and abilities with the talents of the coachees so that the latter can achieve all-round success. It is a smarter and wiser way of doing the hard work.

Coaching is a gift from God. If you get a good coach who is passionate about making a difference in your personal, professional, and social life then you are really lucky. Coaches usually pay more attention to listening and observation and then shoot coachees with open-ended questions. It ultimately helps the coachees to touch their subconscious mind and come out with viable solutions and ideas.

Coaching Types and Methods

Coaching helps in developing the abilities and skills of the coachees. It makes sure of their personal and professional advancement. There are various types of coaching such as personal coaching, performance coaching, sports coaching, skills coaching, career coaching, corporate coaching, executive coaching, life coaching, and leadership coaching etc., With the rapid growth in technology and mushrooming knowledge workers, there are specialized coaches for specific domains.

There are two methods of coaching such as directive and non-directive coaching. In directive coaching, the coach teaches extensively to upgrade the skills and abilities of the coachees. However, in the non-directive method, the coach questions the coachees and moves them forward toward their goals. In this method of coaching, questioning is the key and it emphasizes on Socratic Method.

There is enormous excitement in making ordinary individuals extraordinary individuals. The money you get out of coaching is temporary but the satisfaction and pleasure you get out of it is everlasting. You can see success from the accomplishments of your coachees. It is beyond imagination and explanation.

Coaching helps in introspection for coachees. It helps in realizing their ambitions. It helps in the personal, professional, and social success of coachees.
Coaching helps in challenging limitations, stretching horizons, and empowering with new values and principles.
Coaching helps shape the next generation of knowledge workers to become successful professionals.

Coaching versus Mentoring

Coaching is different from mentoring. In mentoring, the mentors shape the attitudes, behavior, and personality of the mentees. In contrast, in coaching, the coaches build the skills and abilities of the coachees thus widening their competencies and capabilities. In a nutshell, mentoring involves more soft skills than hard skills while coaching involves more hard skills than soft skills. To distinguish succinctly, coaches accompany achievements and mentors ensure the shaping of the mentees.

Coaching helps in discovering the inherent competencies and capabilities of the coachees and in shaping them as competent individuals. It helps in motivating and building confidence among the coachees through continuous support and guidance. However, mentoring helps in showing the mentees their inherent competencies and thus grooming them.

Coaching is a structured and formal approach while mentoring is not so. Coaching involves physical interaction and constant correction with the right feedback. However, mentoring is all about sharing advice and experiences.

Qualities of Coaches and Coachees

The coaches must be confidential, and friendly, and must be psychologists. They must shoot the right questions to get the best out of coachees. They must be good at giving objective feedback. Above all, they must be good listeners with the right reasoning and analytical bent of mind.

The coachees must be good listeners and should have respect for the coach. They must have a passion for learning and upgrading their skills and abilities and must have the ability to take feedback objectively and constructively.

The Role of Coaches

The roles and responsibilities of coaches are beyond coaching. However, let us briefly put the same as a facilitator, catalyst, learner, domain expert, and above all mentor. They must facilitate learning through constant questioning, interaction, reflection, and feedback. The feedback must be sandwich and issues-oriented rather than individual-oriented. That means it must emphasize on attacking the behavior of the individuals but not the individuals. It must bring out necessary behavioral changes as well as results-driven. They must act as catalysts when they need to bring changes in the thinking level, behavioral level, and performance level. They must be able to build confidence among the coachees and transform them. They must be very strong in their domain so that they can gain respect and win the trust of coachees. Above all, they must also act as mentors and consultants by sharing their knowledge, and experiences and providing advice to the coachees.

Coaching Strategy

The coach must have a clear strategy with a blueprint for the execution of the coaching process which must be aligned with the goals of the coachees. Both coach and coachee must set SMART strategies to achieve desired results. They must set their strategies specifically to avoid deviation and to ensure clarity. The duration of the coaching must be measurable to be clear and to enhance seriousness. The strategies must be achievable so that both the coach and coachees get motivated to take it forward. Besides, the coaching strategy must be realistic and should not be a mere daydream. Finally, the strategy must be trackable and time-bound to stay focused as well as to check for takeaways.

Coaching Stages

It consists of various stages such as direction, relationship, development, execution, and feedback. Firstly, it is vital to set the direction with clear outcomes out of coaching. Secondly, it is necessary to build a relationship between the coach and coachees. The relationship paves the way for better communication resulting in bridging the barriers by looking at the commonalities. Thirdly, emphasize developmental activities to stay focused on the coaching process. Fourthly, execution is the key to effective and successful coaching. Remove the stumbling blocks, if any, during the coaching process by minimizing both internal and external threats and maximizing both strengths and opportunities. The final stage of coaching is the feedback which measures the takeaways out of coaching. Kirkpatrick's evaluation is useful and ideal to find out the coaching outcomes.

Coaching and Questioning

The coaches must use several tools during the coaching process such as usage of inquiry, interaction, reflection, and requests to get the best out of the coachees. In addition, they must learn the art of questioning as questioning is an integral part of coaching. They must ask open-ended questions that help their coachees think broadly in coming out with solutions. Coachees will be able to think and come out with answers when shot with broadening questions as people are usually more committed to their ideas than those of others. Here are the great coaching questions to ask your coachees, or yourself!

What do you want to learn?
What skills and abilities do you like to acquire?
What action will you take to improve your abilities and skills?
What are your professional goals and how much duration do you take to reach them?
What do you mean by success? Has success got anything to do with coaching? How do you think coaching helps in achieving your success?
What are the current challenges you have and how will you overcome them?

These are all are open-ended coaching questions that grill the coachees and dig deep to align their efforts and energies with their goals.

Myths and Truths about Coaching

It is a myth that coaches provide quick-fix solutions to coachees. The coachees must not expect tailor-made solutions for their problems from coaches. What the coach does is spot the potential and passion of the coachees and develop competencies and capabilities.

Another myth prevailing is that coaches are superhuman beings. The truth is that coaches are ordinary individuals with extraordinary mindsets, skill sets, and toolsets to shape the coachees. They are passionate about making a difference in the lives of coachees.

Coaching and Leadership Development

Leadership development is incomplete without referring to coaching and mentoring as coaches coach the coachees through coaching and mentors mentor the mentees through mentoring. Therefore, coaching is included in the content plan of leadership development programs (LDP) as it is considered the key to leadership development. The facilitators and consultants cover various concepts and aspects of coaching during their leadership development programs. Therefore, both coaching and leadership development are two sides of the same coin.

Make a Difference

With the mushrooming knowledge workers, there is huge potential for coaching where people like to unlock and realize their hidden potential. People don't hesitate to spend their money on personal and professional development. Besides, the changing times and technologies resulted in ambiguity and uncertainty and that calls for coaching. Therefore, there is a bright future ahead for all areas of coaching.

Coaching is indeed, a priceless gift. Coaching is an excellent career when both coaches and coachees are passionate. It exists as long as human civilization exists as human beings crave continuous learning and growing.

Coaches must love their profession as Eddie Robinson rightly said, "Coaching is a profession of love. You can't coach people unless you love them." They must have a passion to make a difference for others. They must have a love for their profession rather than money. They will not last but their coaching lasts for several generations. They don't have to regret in the later part of life for not coaching and guiding humankind if they coach timely. Therefore, start coaching from now onwards to make a difference in the lives of others.